Diary of a Wimpy Kid: The Long Haul 2017
PG | 1h 31min | Comedy, Family | 17 May 2017 (Philippines)
A Heffley family road trip to attend Meemaw’s 90th birthday party goes hilariously off course thanks to Greg’s newest scheme to get to a video gaming convention. This family cross-country adventure turns into an experience the Heffleys will never forget.
Motion Picture Rating (MPAA)
Rated PG for some rude humor
I don’t know where to begin with this piece of crap. I hesitate to call this a movie or film. And for good reason. If Alicia Silverstone wants to get her career back, she can kiss that dream goodbye after starring in this thing. After seeing this and Rings this year, Tusk has some STIFF competition for worst film of the decade. I took a bathroom break in the middle of the film and I must say that me being in the bathroom for three minutes was the best part of the movie. And I RARELY say that about a movie. This movie is horrible from start to finish. The “jokes” were cringe-worthy to say the least and it just pandered to parents whose kids were always on their phones. They have a discount Markiplier in the film and a knock-off version of Cheetos. Yet later they reference Mad Max (yes they actually said Mad Max) and mentioned Charlize Theron. So they exist in this universe but Markiplier does not? There’s a scene towards the end of the film in a shower that made Alfred Hitchcock turn over in his grave. This film is horrible and does not deserve to be watched by anybody. Watch the Ghost in the Shell remake or Get Out if you want to see a good movie. Hell, watch John Wick 2. Even that’s better. And I’m giving this one a 1/10.
Director: David Bowers
Writers: Jeff Kinney (screenplay), David Bowers (screenplay)
Stars: Jason Drucker, Alicia Silverstone, Tom Everett Scott